Pat and Rich Talk About Life: Richard vs. the Spider Pig.

Pat Moore (5:14:55 PM): How bout we do a segment right now

Pat Moore (5:15:04 PM): Richard vs. the spider pid

Pat Moore (5:15:07 PM): *pig

Pat Moore (5:15:29 PM): Pat and rich talk about life: rich vs. the spider pig

Pat Moore (5:15:36 PM): Let's do it.


Richard Smith (5:15:53 PM): Ok.

Richard Smith (5:16:14 PM): Right now?

Pat Moore (5:16:50 PM): Yes, starting like ten lines ago. lmao

Pat Moore (5:17:11 PM): So, Richard.

Pat Moore (5:17:15 PM): Explain to me again,

Pat Moore (5:17:24 PM): how that spider pig got onto your face.

Richard Smith (5:17:45 PM): Well you see,

Richard Smith (5:18:00 PM): I was just walking done the hallway at Scruffolk,

Pat Moore (5:18:21 PM): mhhmm.

Richard Smith (5:18:22 PM): With my orange hazard armor and my crowbar,

Pat Moore (5:18:35 PM): a necessity.

Richard Smith (5:18:59 PM): Suddenly this thing comes out of nowhere and I'm all the like: "ZOMG WTF IS THIS THING"

Pat Moore (5:19:09 PM): What valor!!!

Richard Smith (5:19:27 PM): And then he's all like "IMMA GONNA EAT YOUR BRAINZ"

Richard Smith (5:19:39 PM): (brb)

Pat Moore (5:19:44 PM): That is terrifying.

Pat Moore (5:19:59 PM): (ok. p.s. anything not in character should be in parenthesis)

Richard Smith went idle at 5:30:24 PM

Richard Smith came back from idle at 5:48:38 PM

Richard Smith went idle at 5:58:39 PM

Richard Smith came back from idle at 6:09:55 PM

Richard Smith (6:15:07 PM): (back)

Richard Smith (6:15:22 PM): Sorry I took so long

Richard Smith (6:15:25 PM): ()*

Richard Smith (6:24:09 PM): (Give me a call if you want to continue: NOT RICHARD'S PHONE NUMBER)

Pat Moore (6:35:49 PM): (hi)

Richard Smith (6:36:49 PM): (ok now where were we)

Richard Smith (6:37:29 PM): So I lift up my crowbar and I'm all like "Oh, no you don't".

Richard Smith begin (6:38:22 PM): And that's when I realize that I left my crowbar in my car and that I instead have a twig.

Pat Moore (6:38:35 PM): (wait a sec I'm looking for a vet for Shawn)

Richard Smith (6:39:03 PM): So then the fucker proceeds to latch onto my face and start to nom on my face.

Richard Smith (6:39:06 PM): (ok)

Richard Smith (6:39:24 PM): (What's up with Shawn?)

Pat Moore (6:41:32 PM): (he has to get a checkup)

Richard Smith (6:42:07 PM): (ok)

Pat Moore (6:44:28 PM): (because he's so fat)

Richard Smith (6:46:30 PM): (:3)

Pat Moore (7:13:37 PM): I can see, after all this time that spider pig still has one hell of a grip..

Richard Smith (7:15:46 PM): What does that even mean?

Richard Smith (7:15:48 PM): Anyway,

Richard Smith (7:16:03 PM): So I'm trying to punch him off my face.

Pat Moore (7:16:18 PM): I just meant that since it's still there...

Pat Moore (7:16:26 PM): But continue.

Richard Smith (7:16:36 PM): SHUP PAT IT'S STORY TIME.

Pat Moore (7:16:46 PM): .....Shup...

Richard Smith (7:16:47 PM): (Shut up)

Pat Moore (7:16:56 PM): (LMFAO I know)

Richard Smith (7:17:19 PM): YOU DO NOT SPEAK DURING STORY TIME.

Pat Moore (7:17:27 PM): -says nothing-

Richard Smith (7:17:49 PM): Anyway where was I...

Richard Smith (7:17:55 PM): Oh yeah

Pat Moore (7:17:59 PM): You had a twig.

Richard Smith (7:18:11 PM): So I'm beating the crap out of him.

Richard Smith (7:18:35 PM): And he's still nomming on my face.

Pat Moore (7:18:43 PM): mhmm..

Richard Smith (7:18:54 PM): So I take the twig and stab him with it

Pat Moore (7:19:01 PM): !!!!!

Richard Smith (7:19:17 PM): Only it goes right through him and I stab myself in the eye

Pat Moore (7:19:26 PM): Wait...

Pat Moore (7:19:40 PM): How is it that your twig can phase through solid matter?

Pat Moore (7:19:56 PM): Then manage to stab you?

Richard Smith (7:20:11 PM): Who's telling the story here?

Richard Smith highlighting (7:20:26 PM): That's beside the point

Richard Smith (7:20:37 PM): So.

Richard Smith (7:20:49 PM): My eye is bleeding like hell

Richard Smith (7:21:26 PM): And S.P. is flipping a shit about being impaled by a twig

Pat Moore (7:21:33 PM): Wait,

Richard Smith (7:21:37 PM): SO he's off my face.

Pat Moore (7:21:48 PM): -sighs-

Richard Smith (7:22:47 PM): So then after 2 hours of agony I say:

Richard Smith (7:23:11 PM): "Wait...why the fuck are we fighting each other again?"

Richard Smith (7:23:39 PM): To which he replies: "I honestly don't know good sir."

Pat Moore (7:23:44 PM): WAIT.

Richard Smith (7:23:54 PM): So then we agreed to bury the hatchet

Pat Moore (7:24:00 PM): Spider pigs DO NOT speak English.

Richard Smith (7:24:03 PM): Let bygones be bygones.

Richard Smith (7:24:06 PM): PAT.

Richard Smith (7:24:12 PM): SHUT UP.

Richard Smith (7:24:18 PM): STORY TIME.

Pat Moore (7:24:19 PM): EVERYONE knows they speak Icelandic!

Richard Smith (7:24:34 PM): I know Icelandic.

Pat Moore (7:24:41 PM): .....Uhm...

Richard Smith (7:24:51 PM):Don't ask questions.

Pat Moore (7:25:05 PM): I'm starting to doubt this ever happened..

Pat Moore (7:25:24 PM): If it wasn't for the fact that the pig is on your face..

Pat Moore (7:25:32 PM): Still.

Richard Smith (7:25:46 PM): So anyway we both shook hands and we both had a nice cup of tea and some crumpets and we both discussed modern political systems.

Pat Moore (7:26:04 PM): Ok I don't think this is legit.

Richard Smith (7:26:18 PM): He actually had some pretty good arguments for a socialist economic system.

Richard Smith (7:26:35 PM): So yeah.

Pat Moore (7:26:38 PM): He's a pig..

Richard Smith (7:26:46 PM): A spider pig.

Richard Smith (7:26:58 PM): Yes.

Pat Moore (7:27:01 PM): Alright yes, a spider pig.

Richard Smith (7:27:05 PM): Indeed.

Pat Moore (7:27:11 PM): Does he have a name, then?

Richard Smith (7:27:41 PM): Gregor von Bismark

Pat Moore (7:27:52 PM): Is that the English translation?

Richard Smith (7:28:01 PM): It's German

Pat Moore (7:28:13 PM): I thought he was Icelandic?

Richard Smith (7:28:26 PM): He was born in Germany

Pat Moore (7:28:32 PM): Ah...

Richard Smith (7:28:33 PM): But that's not the point

Richard Smith (7:29:40 PM): Last I heard he was on some kind of expedition in to Mt. Kilemonjaro

Pat Moore (7:30:05 PM): But...i can see him!

Pat Moore (7:30:11 PM): he's still on your face!

Richard Smith (7:30:44 PM): That's his cousin Jeffery

Richard Smith (7:30:52 PM): GOD PAT

Pat Moore (7:30:57 PM): Where is he from??

Richard Smith (7:31:10 PM): You think all spider pigs look alike.

Pat Moore (7:31:20 PM): I do, it's a bad habit.

Richard Smith highlighting (7:31:33 PM): That's specie-ism.

Richard Smith (7:31:39 PM): !!!

Pat Moore (7:31:47 PM): AHH!!

Richard Smith (7:32:04 PM): BAAAAAAHHHH!!!

Pat Moore (7:32:50 PM): (I'm getting juice)

Pat Moore (7:32:56 PM): (And probably coffee)

Richard Smith (7:33:05 PM): (Ahahaha)

Richard Smith (7:33:23 PM): (Can I get a slice of cheesecake and a bottle of water?)

Richard Smith (7:34:46 PM): (Brb)

Richard Smith (7:42:30 PM): (Back)

Pat Moore (7:42:52 PM): (Princess Protection Program is on next and I'm a dorky Demi fan)

Richard Smith (7:43:02 PM): (ordering a pizza)

Richard Smith (7:43:07 PM): (lolwut?)

Pat Moore (7:43:19 PM): (pizzaaa)

Richard Smith (7:46:33 PM): (I already ordered a pizza)

Richard Smith (7:46:45 PM): (Ahahaha, you think about everything)